Opinion is Bias!

Recently I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine on email which started as a simple comment and flared into a discontent. Without getting into the details of what the issue was-there was a learning for me. We cannot make a comment on a non verbal medium without making it look like we are opinionated. The consequences are immense as if it indeed is true then we can have communication breakdowns as the others may view it with their screen and color.
There are no written rules in informal communications (as if you have rules they cease to become informal) but sensitivity of people needs to be respected at all times. Some may say this is against freedom of expression as if we cease to express opinions then we are suppressing our feelings. I would agree to this too. Is this a paradox we have to live with or is this another situational stuff which as most others use-the answer is yes. To comment on everything is a human urge-like a baby tries to stamp on a moving ant purely instinct (not a bad one as it is not an intention but an instinct) but to control the language is maturity. What is written with a comic intention (in our best moods) can be viewed as an insult by someone who is not in the same best mood. Who cares-there are always finnicky people you may say. My point is if you don't care you loose a great learning opportunity. There can be opinions which stems from biases but opinions should not be rooted on biases as the worst of all biases is " Not to listen to feedbacks". Worser still if the other person has the bias and you seem to mirror his bias 180 degrees as we start loosing friends with this zero win game. Is this a compromise..not really. Sometimes it is better to accept that there are situations we need to correct our statements as it is our ego which needs to be tied in. For sure this does not challenge the statement that "Opinion is Bias". Indeed it is-try to have a positive Bias is all I say.

Everything will be ok!!

I happened to meet a leader of a critical project of restructuring recently. One striking thing I noticed was after every 15 minutes he said "Everything is under control and will be ok." While till that time he makes such a statement, we were discussing very rationally the issues and trying to address them at ground-the discussion will skew for sometime around not so rational things after the statement.
While the intention of my visit was not to find faults I found that people have not done enough thinking around the scenarios that can emerge making them believe they were ready. Surprisingly most of the key members were interested to do the thinking but were dissuaded by the belief of the leader as in the subject. After the fourth time he made the statement just before lunch I had to put my cynical hat and tell him politely " Can you define what control is and what ok is after lunch?" He was taken aback and tried to tell me "That I should not be pessimistic". But I persisted and said we can take this discussion for 30 minutes after lunch so that everyone is on the same page on this. A young lady seemed to be waiting for this and said " I think it is a good idea as I had this question but never asked for more than 3 months". The lunch time was unusually silent except for the sounds of munching. There was discomfort in everyone's body language and people refused to look at each other in eyes.
We assembled again and the leader said with a loud voice" So Ramki wants to discuss this topic though we all know what it means. Except the lady who else thinks it will add value to our discussion?" Surprisingly there were four more who put their hands up and said " Maybe we can discuss it briefly". With no choice the leader said "Ok. I leave to the group to discuss". I smiled (which probably was villianic) and said to him "Before we discuss I want you to explain what you really mean by these two words". After some reluctance he came with a sketchy explanation of what he thinks. I wrote this down on a board and asked the group to build on this basic idea. Surprisingly nobody agreed-so we split into two groups and discussed it threadbare expanding a little more into what needs to be done by the team to ensure they have done a good scenario planning. The outcome was fabulous. People spoke of their concerns and there were solutions for each scenario. A more concrete plan emerged. A decision was made to communicate to all relevant stakeholders what are the potential problems in the next 3 months and how they will be fixed. There was more clearer view on the extent of service level impacts and how it can be managed. Finally there was a feeling of what Control was and why everything will be ok. With this positive feeling the team leader felt a little puzzled and said " I thought we will end negative with such discussions and therefore wanted to be a moderator. Maybe I am wrong". I said to him" Whoever advised you that you should moderate active planning has given you an advise which will make you perenially fail. You may have managed thee moment but are sitting in a landmine". He seemed to agree. I hope everything will be ok though I know OK is a relative word.

Seeking feedback!!

The aspect of seeking feedback of self, actions of self/team and improvements is critical to sustain, adjust and evolve in a continous way. However this does not happen in a natural way as there are several DNA related issues which can inhibit this. The first is the way we have been brought up. For example in India/China in for generations we are taught to respect authority. Several of us either first or second hand have seen if we try to give a feedback to a teacher on his teaching style (genuine concerns like I don't understand your pronounciation or the speed of talking etc)usually the response is of defiance. Either it is punishment or the teacher in a menacing tone asks the class if anyone else has a problem. The class senses the power and the answer the teacher wants-so is silent.The teacher then concludes it is the stupidity of the student which is to blame and punishes him/her.
The message is clear-negative feedback is not appreciated. This does gets into the DNA. There can be similar experiences at home which shapes the attitudes of the young mind. While there is some freedom the rebelious adoloscent age brings in it is not really structured. Therefore giving an improvement suggestion in a positive way is not really inherited by a lot. This creates issues in teamworking as well as realising the full potential of a group.
Next is how to elicit feedback. While etools are fantastic in seeking feedback and there are a lot who look at averages for judging if they are above a particular level in a particular parameter etc, this is not exactly what we should do. Averages are a myth in measuring satisfaction. The people who rate below are not necessarily biased. They are the ones who are trying to talk to us with their ratings. If there are open ended comments in the forms-we should look at what they are trying to talk with this. Feedback is not to have a comfort feeling that we are doing ok but to see where we can improve.This is not an option for those who want to be sure they are rooted on realities. Informal ways of feedback is also ok but there should be a consistency in way we seek feedback as a lot of time in informal feedback we try to filter information to suit what we think or want to hear. There are no shortcuts to the thirst of seeking feedback as if we stop this activity we are already stopping to improve. Be it forecast improvement (in demand chain) or relationship improvement (with suppliers or customers) it is always the seeking/acting on feedback which makes the difference between winners and losers.